A New Start

I started blogging in 2010 because I love to write. Writing has always been a way of communicating my thoughts, dreams, and fears. When I was a teenager, raging with questions and feelings, it was how I would express myself to my dad when we would not see eye to eye. I could not approach conflict well in those days, and this helped us both. He, in turn, would write me kind cards and notes for my birthdays and holidays.

I called my blog, “Life On The Backburner” because I was notorious for not finishing things. Back in the day, when it came to finishing goals, I was a great starter but lost steam when life got busy and easily got derailed. I love the idea of a new thing or a new beginning, but when the novelty wore off… let’s just say I may have had a few unfinished art projects or half-written journals in my closet growing up. The motivation to begin is always fresh and new, but the end has always been a struggle.

When I began "Life on the Backburner," I couldn't stop this pressure, this need or desire to put these thoughts out to the "world" and let people see into my heart and learn. I wanted to learn from my mistakes, rejoice in the triumphs, and share what I have learned in hopes that others would journey with me. To be vulnerable with the world is not easy and putting myself out there many times would even get my feelings hurt greatly.

But vulnerability also led me to empathy and through empathy I have experienced some of life's greatest gifts, like carrying children for other families. Sixteen years ago, I ventured into surrogacy and found myself attached to an agency that matched me and a couple who had been trying for a long time to create a family. I birthed a gorgeous little girl for them on the first embryo transfer. I’ll spare you the details for another day, but safe to say, it was a magical experience, and they wanted to do it again. We gave it a go a year later, and lo and behold, both embryos took, and I carried fraternal twins. It was not an easy feat, but a fantastic experience.

My sister-in-law and I on a girl's trip 2 weeks before I delivered surrogate twins weighing 5 lbs each.

My three children checking in on mom the day after my 1st C-section. They were happy to see me but also that they got to miss school.

So there I was, five pregnancies, and six kids later my body was a little beat up. It was my first time carrying twins and to top the experience off, my first C-section. I’ll never forget the doctor’s words in the delivery room with Baby A head down but Baby B sideways. He said, “Well, we could try for a vaginal delivery, but there’s a chance of you having a vaginal delivery and a C-section.” My surro family turned to me to see what I would like to do, and I said, “Yeah, we’re not recovering twice.” However, I had not prepared myself for a C-section recovery, and it would be a longer road back than I expected.

To say I was frustrated with the slow recovery and the baby weight that would not seem to come off was an understatement. The C-section left me feeling depressed with a body that felt broken. I was determined to turn the ship around, but I wasn’t sure what to do. At the time of my recovery, P90X by Tony Horton was pretty popular. A friend of mine had successfully completed the 90-day regimen and let me borrow the 6-disc DVD set. Something inside me wanted to see if I could complete it too. I decided to go for it and document the experience. For some twisted reason, when the fear of failing is on the line, my motivation seems to skyrocket.

After 90 consecutive days, I completed P90X and was so proud of myself. I realized that when I put my mind to it, the things on the back burner could come front and center. P90X was less about lifting weights or doing pull-ups and more about completing something that I said I would do. The next thing to accomplish was a full roll-up in my Pilates class. If you are unfamiliar, you must lay flat and roll yourself up to a sitting position. It was so hard at the beginning; the twin birth caused me to endure a C-section, and it’s safe to say my abdominal muscles were completely jacked up. I had to have my feet held or my knees up to get to a seated position. Week after week, month after month, and a year later… Success!

Present day, I am a mom of three biological children and a three-time surrogate. It was such a privilege to carry those littles; my own and the ones I was an incubator for. Carrying those humans was a feat, and pushing my body to great lengths was another way to prove to myself that I could do what I set out to do.

As for the blog, it became a place to drop my thoughts and talk about life. I wrote about the trials of our newlywed era or the lovely restaurants we stumbled upon on date nights. I remember writing heartfelt words when ISIS was committing heinous acts toward their captives. In 2015, when I lost my father, this blog became a cathartic place to share the grief of losing my father at only 67 years old. I have gone back to those writings, time and again, to recall where we were and who he was in my memories. I still miss him greatly.

Today, I begin a new chapter in my life, I am choosing to do something for myself because, over the years, I have done almost everything for my family, namely, my children. I put a traditional career on the back burner to stay home for 14 years so they could have a stable upbringing and a season where their mom was fully present in their life. During that time, I ran at-home businesses before beginning a career in worship ministry and higher education. These jobs allowed me to become a leader in my own right as well, but the sacrifice of working two jobs simultaneously was not easy.

Ready for this new start to my career.

I am starting my own business, which means the back burner can no longer hold pans simmering to the brim, waiting for me to pull them forward to season and stir. I have been able to learn a lot about myself and I know how this Kelly will respond to life’s twists and turns. She will respond with resilience, tenacity, and hope. I’m no longer the girl who gets derailed from one little thing or lets the world around her shape how she sees herself. This girl has spent too much time with goals and dreams on the back burner. It is not only a time to complete my own goals but to help others go after their own. 

I hope you join me on this journey as I forge a path for speaking and coaching. I plan to write about where life takes me and the lessons learned through living life in its fullest possible sense. I want to share the joys and sorrows that come. Maybe you are in a place where you have placed yourself on the back burner, and it’s time to pull your pots forward and add some seasoning and salt to them. If that’s you, let’s do it together. And you know what? Over 10 years later, I can still do a full roll-up.

PS. Take a moment and poke around my webpage. I am so excited to work with individuals who are seeking to know the single question that drives their decisions and the motivations behind it all.